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A believer in rituals (and in having fun), I teach my boys to put their hands in, count to three, yell the name of the team, in this case “Mad Dogs” (not the real name, but close enough), and then “bark” like mad.
The kids love it!
The team behind us, also named after a ferocious animal (let’s call them the “Lions”), begins to growl goodnaturedly at the Mad Dogs. The Mad Dogs, in turn, bark at the Lions. I laugh as the teams try to out howl each other.
At this point, the Lions’ coach says to his team of sixyear olds, “I’ve seen the Mad Dogs hit — they’re all bark and no bite!”
While he’s clearly joking, my wife is offended.
Although I chose not to escalate the situation, I agree that such a “joke” was completely inappropriate, if for no other reason, it sends the message to the kids that it’s okay to make fun of other people’s abilities (or lack thereof). Why would a coach, charged with the responsibilities of teaching good sportsmanship and game fundamentals, choose to give his team a lesson in the art of “trash talking?”
Sometimes I wonder if Little League is such a good idea.
Truth be told, it’s amazing that I agreed to manage a team. I swore off Little League eight years ago when my then nine-year old son, Robert, played for a coach who thought it proper that four of his players (including my son) should consistently sit out two or three innings every game, bat at the bottom of the order, and only be allowed to play right field.
My son didn’t learn much about baseball that season. He did learn that he was not as good as the other kids. And, that because he wasn’t as good, he couldn’t play shortstop. And could only bat after the “good” players. And had to sit on the bench one third of the time so that the “good” players could play the whole game. Talking to the coach about the pain he caused my son elicited only some lame excuse about his actions being within the confines of the “rules.” He even told me that he was being “generous” to these kids.
My son learned to hate baseball that year. He refused to play in Little League again.
Of course, not all coaches share such mentalities. I admire the coach who gives players equal time and the opportunity to play many different positions. But it’s frightening to me that any adult trusted to teach our children a game — an experience that should be fun and enriching — could or would allow such a rewarding opportunity to become nothing more than a lesson in disappointment and humiliation. While this is certainly not anyone’s intent, I fear it’s far too often the result.
So I respectfully ask you managers and coaches: Remember the trust we parents place in you, remember the impact of your words and your actions, and most of all, remember to make Little League a time to dream and have fun.
Here’s to a great season!
Rob Stevens is co-founder of Spark Development, father of three and the enthusiastic (sometimes, overly) manager of Matt’s T-Ball team.