Erin Weed, founder of Girls Fight Back, an education company dedicated to teaching women of all ages about personal safety and self-defense (girlsfightback.org), encourages parents to share ways to stay safe with their daughters before they reach high school.
“My focus is to reach more teens since so many bad things happen soon after they arrive at college,” says Weed. “Though moms hate to hear this, girls are learning about both sex and violence at a much younger age than before.”
Weed believes that the time parents should start educating their daughters in safety is the moment she can understand the concept of sex/sexual assault. “Start teaching her how to reduce her risks. The age varies on the child’s situation, so I leave that up to parents to decide when they’re ready.”
USE STRAIGHT TALK
Though you may think your daughter isn’t listening, Weed encourages parents to “use straight talk,” meaning be blunt, honest and tackle the hard subjects without mincing words. Teaching daughters to say no is important as “so many girls just don’t know it’s okay to do anything but what they believe their peers are doing,” says Weed.
Planting this idea in her head will help her find the strength to get out of a bad situation. Though she may outwardly be rolling her eyes, she’s filing that conversation away. Tell your daughter that, “if something bad ever happened to you, I’d always want to know and I’d stand by you 100 percent.” Weed says that many young women today have been victimized and are too ashamed to tell their family about it.
ENFORCE A PRIVATE PROFILE ONLINE
Online safety is almost as important as physical safety. There’s really no need to have a public profile today with Web sites like Facebook and MySpace. If parents forbid their daughters from having a public profile, it will only
prevent randoms that she doesn’t know from viewing her page without being her “friend.”
“Whether she wants you to know it or not, it’s socially acceptable to have a private profile,” adds Weed. Teens may tell their parents that it’s “uncool” to have a private profile because a public profile allows more access to the rest of the people on MySpace. Though you could just say “private or no MySpace” at all, Weed says, “I prefer educating them about why they don’t want a public profile.” This helps cut down on rebelling because teens can easily make their profile un-private once mom turns her back.
“Moms should also talk to their kids about not accepting creepy friend requests from people they don’t know. If you don’t know ‘em, don’t friend ‘em,” adds Weed.
ASSURE YOUR DAUGHTER
“I WON’T BE MAD”
Assure your daughter that if she finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, you won’t be mad if she calls to have you pick her up — even at midnight. Teens are known to hide behaviors their parents wouldn’t approve of in an effort to avoid being disciplined. Assure your daughter if she ever feels unsafe, you’ll help her, no questions asked. Remember that your daughter will probably take you up on this at some point. “You have to at least not act mad in order for it to ever work again,” says Weed.
Finally, learn self-defense together. There’s no better way to bond than to learn a new skill with your daughter. “I find girls are usually ready to take a class once they’re 12, but this varies depending on the girl,” says Weed.
5 Things We
Women Can Do
to Stay Safe
Women Can Do
to Stay Safe
Erin Weed, founder of Girls Fight Back, offers these
safety tips:
1. Accept that violence exists and you may be faced with it during your lifetime. This can be a great motivator to develop safety plans in your daily life.
2. Learn about the power of intuition and start trusting it. While some of us have a hard time believing it, our intuition is the best survival instinct we have.
3. Assess your body language and make changes where necessary. People look for easy prey, like women who don’t appear ready or willing to fight back. Take a look at what your body language says. Assess your posture, eye contact and confidence level and make changes where necessary. Be a bad victim.
4. Don’t assume other people will save you. Your personal safety begins and ends with you. Arm yourself with the skills necessary to become your own best protector.
5. Take a women’s self-defense class. No safety tips or checklist can replace the value of learning to defend yourself. Knowing how to fight back is empowering.
Self-Defense Classes:
Modern Warrior in Lindenhurst
www.modernwarrior.com
STEP UP! Self Defense, Inc.
in Huntington
www.stepupselfdefense.com
Christina Lorenzen is the mother of a 13- year-old daughter who will be taking self-defense classes.