Caregiving, whether for the frail, elderly, disabled or those in recovery, can send your emotions on a virtual roller coaster ride. In any 24-hour period you can experience fear, rage, hope, sadness, humor, grief, bravery, fatigue, edication . . . and be overwhelmed with love. So it comes as no surprise that helping others can indeed play havoc with your physical, emotional and psychological well-being.


And to make matters even more complicated, you may be one of the many women squeezed between the constant demands of caring for children and an aging parent. In fact, according to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, nearly 10 million boomers are now raising young children or supporting an adult child while giving help to a parent.


Juggling Acts

Needless to say, this results in an incredible amount of stress on you, while you perform the juggling act of all juggling acts. So often you might find yourself planning to attend an important school event or take your child to the doctor, when suddenly there’s an emergency with your aging mother. Or perhaps you’re simply trying to prepare dinner when your child and father need your help — immediately. However, just because you’re a member of the sandwich generation, doesn’t mean that your complex responsibilities have to chew you up.

It’s vital that you take time to think of and take care of yourself. In fact, you’ll be doing your loved ones a favor as you’ll be far more effective as a caregiver and a parent when you’re relaxed and rested. It’s interesting to note that during their industry training, professional caregivers are encouraged to remember the importance of caring for themselves, not just those in their charge. The same advice is perhaps even more essential for the family caregiver.


Self-Care Tips

Before you’re drained of all physical and emotional reserves, here are a few recommendations to rejuvenate the spirit: Pamper yourself. This could be anything from taking time to enjoy a massage or a manicure to doing absolutely nothing or something that’s very important to you like a favorite hobby.

Make a date. Go out with your spouse or friends so that you can enjoy some time away from home. See that movie or enjoy dinner at your favorite local restaurant.

Take a walk. Whether it be in your neighborhood or in a nearby park, enjoy the beauty of nature. Plus, the fresh air will work wonders in clearing your mind.

Take time to laugh. Find humor in everyday situations because as we’ve all heard, laughter is the best medicine. Plus there’s no copay.

Take care of your physical self. This can be as simple as taking time to eat nutritious meals and getting adequate sleep. And don’t skip your annual health check ups or dental appointments.

Buy yourself flowers. There’s nothing like a colorful bouquet to lift one’s spirits.

Nurture your closest relationships. These can restore energy and alleviate some of the psychological effects of burnout, such as feelings of being underappreciated and overwhelmed.

Connect with a cause or community group that you believe in. Doing so allows you to meet others with similar interests. Plus social involvement can help combat loneliness and depression.

Set limits. Don’t try to do it all yourself. Remember you need to stay healthy, so accept help when it’s offered. Don’t be afraid to ask relatives and friends for assistance. They most likely will welcome the opportunity to do just that.

Make time to read. Go to your public library or local bookstore and get a book that will transport you to another time and place.

For more information about how you can help your family and yourself, visit www.nyshcp.org/lichapter.shtml.

Getting Outside Help

You may consider outside help for a few hours a day or week should your parent’s medical condition warrant it. The important thing is that you don’t feel guilty about hiring a professional home care aide, if need be. However, before making a choice, you should ask a few key questions about the aide’s training (home health aides are required to complete a two-week course for certification) and about supervision and continuing education. Home health aides are supervised in the home at least once a year (as required by the state) and often as frequently as every two weeks. They also attend 12 hours of continuing education yearly. It’s important to know whether the home care agency placing the aide is licensed and meets all state and federal regulations.

Taryn Birkmire is president of the Long Island Chapter of the New York State Association of Health Care Providers.