There are so many kinds of summer camps, from sleepaway to various day, sports, science and art camps that it’s hard to generalize about adjusting. Yet there are some universal challenges ahead, especially for first-time campers. There’s the challenge of managing the first day, making new friends, separating from home and tackling new skills. Each raises the question of self-confidence and self-esteem.

Worries about the first day take on different forms from choosing what to wear, to procrastinating packing up, to calling the one friend who is going with you, to a sleepless night anticipating getting up on time.

There are always those kids for whom this is all a breeze. But for the most anxious, it’s the parent who listens to the fears, packs things up for the child, and has a positive, matter-of-fact composure about his concerns that helps him stay grounded and prepared.

Making new friends is a worry that’s top on the list. Having a friend to go with isn’t coddling. It helps the transition that’s needed even if the two friends sail off into different groups as the summer goes on. If this can’t be arranged, then remind the child of the natural ways she’ll meet new friends without much effort (like who she’s next to on the bus, at lunch, in arts and crafts or on the line-up at softball).

Take your child seriously while not dwelling excessively on the worries. Reassurance about your faith in your child goes a long way.

Separating From Home

The worry that underlies many of the more obvious concerns is separating from home. This is really a problem that’s inside the child that’s triggered by the situation.

A few pointers might help:

    
• Remind him that he’s left home to go to school all year. This is the same thing.
    
• If she’s going to overnight camp, remind her you’ll miss her, too and will be writing every day.
    
• If needed, pack a small reminder of home (a small stuffed animal, a picture).
    
• Even in the face of tears, it’s important to be sympathetic, but strong. You’re helping your child make a necessary step in her development.

Is camp the right choice for your child?

Some children have friends at home with whom they can explore and find their own adventures and grow from this experience. Some aren’t ready to go to sleep-away camp and need more time to mature. Others profit from a camp experience. Trust your judgment about whether camp is the right place for your child.

If you have ideas, questions, comments and opinions about this column, write Dr. Hollman at 1 Wawapek Rd., Cold Spring Harbor, NY 11724, and she’ll be sure to write back.