Moving to Middle School

The move to middle school can be tough even for the best of students. Their educational environment will change dramatically. Students will have more teachers and they’re expected to take far more responsibility for their schoolwork. Students also face changing classes, operating lockers, dealing with older students and handling new grading standards and procedures.

The transition from elementary to middle school is a different experience for each child, says Colleen Flanagan-Smith, LMSW, a social worker at Sagamore Middle School in Holbrook. “Some children are eager, looking forward to the new-found independence, while others may be anxious or worried,” she says. “At the same time, they’re all going through the physical and emotional changes of puberty and striving to become more independent.”

The first few weeks of middle school are the most challenging. The entire “team” — teachers, guidance counselor, social worker and parents — needs to be supportive of the student to ensure a successful transition. Most schools provide students and parents with an orientation program, which you should make every attempt to attend for your child’s reassurance, as well as your own. At Port Jefferson Middle School there’s a welcoming barbecue. At Sagamore, Flanagan-Smith says they conduct tours and provide students with a question-answer period with current middle school teachers. These events help all students, especially those who are experiencing anxiety and apprehension.

What to Expect

On the first day of school, students often ask teachers what to expect. On the plus side, students can expect more freedom from rules, says Charles Russo, Ph.D., superintendent of East Moriches School District. “However, with the additional relaxing of procedures and rules comes increased personal responsibility. Middle school is all about growing up from being a child to becoming a young adult,” he says.

At the same time, there’s the shifting role of parent involvement, says Flanagan-Smith. “Parents still need to play a large role in the education of their middle school student. You do want your child to develop independence, but careful monitoring is still necessary. Make sure you attend back-to-school night. This provides you with the opportunity to meet your child’s teachers face-toface and gain an understanding of the class requirements and expectations.”

Get Organized

The transition from elementary school to middle school can be less stressful for students and parents alike by instilling strong organizational skills in your child, says Dr. Russo. “The most problematic situations that occur for entering middle schoolers are the transitions between classes and the need to maintain note taking and assignments amongst all the courses. Strong organizational skills will greatly assist the child and make a parent sleep a little better at night.”

Students should also learn how to use an agenda, usually provided to them by their school. This skill will help your child during their school years and future careers. The agenda provides a “clear” assigned place to write down assignments, upcoming tests and long-range projects. Each afternoon your child should preview the assignments that they have to do and get the tough tasks out of the way first. Helping your child plan out long-term projects with a monthly calendar is a great technique to learn.

The Social Issues

More academic work will be one of the biggest challenges your child will encounter. However, parents can reassure students that they’ll also encounter more opportunities for friendships and participation in clubs and activities, says Flanagan- Smith. These experiences will take the focus away from the academic changes and allow students to see the advantages that middle school can offer them.

In addition to these other issues, most students worry about not having a friend in class or in the cafeteria. [See story on page 46 for more about back-to-school fears for all students.] “Parents can provide positive support by reassuring their child that they’re not alone in their fears,” says Flanagan-Smith. “Role playing ways to make new friends can help ease their anxiety.”

Middle School is also a time of great social transition and increased worry for parents. I’ve spoken to many parents who aren’t sure about their role during this time. We typically think that “tweens” don’t encounter the same social pressures as high school students. However, this isn’t the case in today’s society. The Internet has exposed children to so much more than children were exposed to even 10 years ago. There’s an increase in “tweens” experimenting with drugs, alcohol and sex. The “job” of a parent doesn’t end when their child enters middle school. We need to ensure that we’re aware of who our child interacts with and what they’re exposed to. We want to make sure that we still allow room for the child to become independent because this is a time for them to ascertain where they fit in, what they’re passionate about and what they may be interested in pursuing after school. Keep in mind that being involved can be as simple as incorporating bonding time each week. Communication is the essential key. Time spent driving together is a great way to catch up with your “tween.” Keep the lines open and try to become part of your child’s world. This will help the transition to middle school for both of you.

Monica A. Consalvo teaches special education on the middle school level for the Port Jefferson School District.