Becoming a Parent Advocate

Raising children with special needs can be incredibly challenging for any parent. You could find yourself having to supervise, monitor, teach, organize, plan, structure, reward, punish, guide, buffer, protect and nurture your child far more than is demanded by the typical parent. You may need to meet more often with other adults involved in your child’s daily life — school staff, pediatricians and mental health professionals. In other words, you’ll need to advocate and plead your child’s cause to everyone your child comes in contact with that influences her life. With so many jobs to do and roles to play, it’s no wonder parents often feel unprepared to face these daunting tasks.

To be an effective advocate you must have five key components: vision, education, rewards, resources and a plan. The lack of any one of these components can bring about self-defeating feelings that can doom even the best of efforts.

Develop a clear vision. What does your child need to function effectively both in and out of school? Even if your past efforts haven’t produced the results you sought, your child still deserves your best effort to give them a better chance at success in life. This starts with you formulating a clear vision.

Education empowers you. In addition to learning techniques to manage your child’s behavior you’ll need to become familiar with Special Education Law. A child with a developmental or learning disability is entitled to an “appropriate education” and both federal and state laws protect their rights and empower you.

Rewards are powerful tools. Rewarding yourself for a job well done can also be a powerful tool to keep you focused and on track. Take time to appreciate what you’re doing for your child. For each accomplishment, no matter how small, give yourself a reward.

Resources help us along the way. Anyone your child comes in contact with could be a resource. Learn how to partner and collaborate with the school staff, your child’s pediatrician or mental health professional, a classroom buddy or someone your child looks up to.

A plan puts it all together. Putting a plan together and into operation will move you to action. Your plan should include what you want to accomplish and when you want to get it done. Incorporate specific steps you’ll take along the way and it should list benchmarks and time lines to accomplish them. It needs to be reviewed regularly and updated as necessary. An
effective plan provides you with both structure and support during the process.

Being an effective advocate isn’t easy, but your child deserves every effort on your part.

Web
Resources

Special Education in New York State: www.vesid.nysed.gov
National Center for Learning Disabilities: www.ncld.org
National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities: www.nichcy.org
Special Education Law and Advocacy: www.wrightslaw.com

Elaine Lerner, MSW, CSW is an ADHD, ADD and ODD parent trainer. For information call 516-487-0636 or visit www.ADHDParentTrainer.com.